If you ask me, there's a very fine line between really good friends and new lovers. Sometimes it's hard to determine which side you're on, so you kind of stay in that gray area. Most people would prefer to know, either if they were on the black side or the white. I'm probably not like most people. I found comfort in staying in the gray area. I guess you could say I liked having the freedom to move from one side to the other. I've never been that relationship-y type of girl, if you know what I mean. But I think now, I'd like to be.
I don't know what's worse, having the right love at the wrong time or the wrong love at the right time? I feel like I'm homesick for a place that doesn't even exist (yet). But don't get me wrong, I don't regret anything. Yes, it does feel nice to have some consistency in your life, but I think the greatest loves are the ones that surprise you. The ones you never expected. The ones that leave you and return, even greater than before. The ones that hurt the most. And the ones that stay with you almost forever.
I need to know that this kind of love still exists. The kind that doesn't really need words. The kind that let's you sleep together, and I mean, literally, sleep right next to each other without the expectation of anything more. The kind of love that lights up the room. The kind of love that makes other people say, "I want that. Exactly what they have." It would be so peaceful. Like the feeling of sleep, but being awake in it together.
I've probably said too much already. But life is too short to lie about how you really feel. What do you have to lose? Carpe that fucking diem! :)
