Today's Complaint: Being misunderstood.

Some people mistake my confidence for arrogance. I'm not saying I'm perfect or anything, but I guess I just know what I want (in most cases). And sometimes, I rub off the wrong way with some people. I'm sorry for being upfront, but I'm brutally honest.

I hate that I'm still bothered by comments like this. I've had people say more hurtful shit about me (like how I'm a bitch or a flirt or even a liar), but I can't seem to shake this off as easily as the others. Maybe 'cause somehow I feel that it reflects how my parents raised me. & I know for a fact that they raised me well and don't deserve such negative feedback about their offspring. My parents taught me how to be confident to the extent of my abilities, but I know I still have a lot to learn. Ask anyone. I even underestimate myself. In fact, I know there will always be someone better and more equipped than me. So if there's something I know for sure I can do well, you better bet your ass I'll do it better than well! And if that comes off as arrogant, then I'm sorry.

So, words of advice, if you don't know me, don't judge me. Yes, I've done stupid things just to get my way, but really, who hasn't?

Today's Complaint: Sleep.

I had my LASARE3 Retreat last weekend. We had this activity wherein we had to sit in chair, close our eyes and 'reflect'. Our facilitator was saying things like, 'focus on your breathing.. inhale.. exhale..' & 'feel your fingers.. be aware of their existence..' and I swear to God, I just blacked out. Like I literally just fell asleep. After 10 minutes of that, I woke up (THANK GOD) just in time for snacks. But I didn't even go eat 'cause I was just so freakin' tired.

You see, it's like this. I don't get much sleep during weekdays. With my 23-unit term and 6-10 pm trainings every other day, there isn't really room for much sleep. --That is, if you don't count short naps during class. But seriously, I'm lucky if I even get 5 hours of sleep in a night. For me, that's enough to get through the day.

So, going back to my retreat. After we had our break for snacks, we were supposed to write a reflection paper regarding, well, our reflection period. --Which, I had none, because, as I was saying earlier, I fell asleep. So when we got back to the function room where we held our sessions, I started writing. (More like cramming, actually) By the end of it, I realized I wrote a whole paper about me not getting enough sleep. Oh, the joy. There I was supposed to be writing about my prayer time, but instead, writing about sleep. But needless to say, I submitted that paper. Well, I didn't really have a choice. I didn't have another paper. Or time to write another one. But hey, at least I was honest!