Who am I?

I know I just posted a couple of minutes ago, but I found this in one of my folders and I remember writing it a month ago. I meant to post it, but for some weird reason, I didn't have internet connection that day so I saved it on word.

Let me tell you what kind of person I am before you let me in your life and ruin everything.

I don’t like doing things that everyone does.
Which is why I join and quit things quite a lot & it’s also why I am attracted to everything bad for me.

For that reason exactly. They’re bad for you, therefore not everyone does them. I like feeling independent and having something separate from what everyone expects of me. I don’t like them to overlap and intersect because I like having somewhere I can run to if other things fall apart.

I’m selfish, but not competitive.
Which is also why I settle, most every time I am faced with situations that require me to be competitive.

I want things to be mine and mine alone, yet if I find that you aspire the same things I want, I will eagerly back off. I can’t deal with losing and rejection. And this is my way of avoiding it.

I’m scared to want things.
Which is actually why I don’t know what I want 99% of the time.

It’s embedded into my mind that wanting things is a sure waste of my time for 2 reasons. 1) Expectations. You build it up in your head that you’ll get it & when you don’t, it crushes you like ice in a snow cone. 2) It’s true, good things do happen, but only temporarily. When you’re happiest is when you’re most vulnerable. Getting something also means you’ll have the opportunity to lose it.

I'm very fickle.
I'm impulsive and spontaneous and I swear you'll never have to worry about having a boring conversation, but you better make sure you're ready for it. I don't change for anyone. And if you fuck with me, you will never see me again. Yeah, I'm not really keen on revenge, but you never really know. I can change my mind in an instant.

I know who I am and who I'm not. Please don't tell me otherwise.




I've come to realize that my blog is slowly moving away from complaints and into some serious stuff. Yes people, I am human. Hopefully this won't turn against me and bite me in the ass in the future.